And something tells me that she was the sort worth fighting for.

Bret Easton Ellis. Also responsible for The Rules of Attraction, Less Than Zero, and The Informers. Great writer with a twisted mind.

Then don’t read the book. It gets worse. Much worse.

Does this suggest the existence of dom-shrubs?

Basically Jamie Foxx’s character Wanda from In Living Color.

Now to the other end of the spectrum: Can it run Crysis? (The real question being how long 'til it catches fire?)

There’s a certain dry, Brit-humor to this that would do well to be voiced by John Cleese.

Probably depends on the state.

Cute, but the driver’s complete lack of safety gear is unnerving.

Sure thing.

My favorite: