As someone trying to fix up their flat, this is scarily accurate.
Except the porn theme. I just want my plumbing fixed

Reminds me of the USSR joke Reagan loved to tell.

A Soviet man was feeling sick and went to the doctor. The secretary said that there were extreme shortages and that the doctor was booked far out, but would be available on the same date ten years from now. The man asked, Morning or evening?

Does it matter? she asked.

Yes: I have a mechanic appointment in the afternoon.