There are many ways to fail. At this point though, I’m not sure there are any ways left to “succeed”. If I were pressed for advice I’d say for someone to do what they think they would regret the least:-|.
This is the mistake I made. I never found the thing I truly enjoy and so I ended up uneducated and working in a shitty factory… I should have just gone to school for CS (which i had absofucklutly no interest in) with my friend… Now that ship has sailed along with the WebDev stuff another friend is getting paid quite well from…
I never found the thing I enjoy, but I sure as hell worked a lot of jobs I hate.
For anyone reading this that’s still young enough, fuck your passion, chase money. Money buys stability which brings happiness fuck this money doesn’t buy happiness bullshit. Money buys your future.
Well, don’t be too hard on yourself. Life is a journey, and I can only hope that you are smarter now than when you were younger:-).
Also, things CHANGED, like A LOT since then (the pandemic accelerated a lot of it) - and what’s more, as the documentary Inequality for All (that link lets you watch the entire thing free) reveals beautifully, they had been steadily changing for almost 50 years but for various reasons people did not (want/choose to) realize that (e.g. the rise in women outright wanting to work rather than be restricted to solely be allowed to work as a homemaker happened independently, so “the economy getting harsher” did not seem the primary explanation for why people were switching to 2-person income).
The sheeple did not want to know, but also their leaders (politicians etc.) themselves chose to close their eyes to what was happening, as it happened - even as they were paid (bribed) to do. (btw I would rephrase what you said as “prioritize your career stability” - b/c while money is useful, it does not seem to me to be worth selling your soul for, like at all costs - but yeah, ensuring that your basic needs are going to be met is 100% something that people need to be told, despite how colleges are trying to sell the opposite BS just to fill their own bank accounts)
That said, I’ve seen people leave tech / office work and become literal janitors - it royally sucks when they lose their health insurance and the boss won’t even look them in the eyes as he tells them that fact - but depending on your personal circumstances, you gotta do what works for your own mental health.
The American Dream died for many people (even most younger ones?) a long time ago, and what remains is its animated corpse that occasionally moves but for reasons other than “life”. I hope you find a way to improve your own circumstances, as much as you can anyway.
While no politician is perfect, Elizabeth Warren literally wrote the book on the two income issue and I was all for it. As someone who is perpetually single I see first hand how our obsession with “family income” as a proper metric of economic health of workers is bullshit.
People like me are completely left out of the picture and are “forced” to live like college students indefinitely… Renting basements and having random psycho roommates…
She is very smart. I mean duh, literal PhD professor and all:-).
What I know about the situation is that way back in the day, having a family was something that the US government decided needed to be incentivized, hence tax breaks were offered to those who participated. While WAAAAY back in the day before that, like feudal England times, marriage - as in certificates, formalized ceremonies where people would travel to attend, divorce prohibited under the law and such - was only for royalty, whereas nobody gave a crap about peasants. The latter just said “let’s do it” and shacked up together, and that was that. That doesn’t negate the very real experiences they lived - just that the government did not get involved down to that level, b/c the peasants were basically the “property” of the landlord, so if e.g. an injustice was done, it would be up to them to right it (assuming they were not the cause of it in the first place, or too bored/scared/drunk/horny/whatever). Maybe that is all in the book - probably, or at least she surely knew the back-story as she wrote:-).
Anyway my point is that ever since radio and especially TV, politicians have gotten really good at pulling the wool over people’s eyes - and surely they did quite a job of that before then too:-P - and I don’t think the politicians even cared about family income vs. non-family income, so much as it likely seemed a great way to hide the real truth: that a massive transfer of wealth from the common man was being increasingly shifted into the hands of a few. Calling it “family” allowed them to basically double the amount someone could receive before wondering why they were not doing well off (except it’s so complex b/c they WERE doing well-off, but that was b/c the USA wasn’t bombed all to hell during the World Wars, and also technology especially medical care had improved tremendously; also, women do not earn equal to men so really it’s not “double” and more like 1.7). And then after that there are so many other tricks too - e.g. people having to work longer hours to meet the same standard, or old people having to refinance their mortgages to pay off their kids college or house loans or whatever, and all the while they had people convinced that even though they were NOT okay, that somehow it was mysteriously just them in isolation, rather than a major societal upheaval affecting us all (though not equally).
I am not very smart, and not very well educated in these matters - really - but that much at least I see. What the forces of globalization and mechanization mean, essentially, are that most humans are now irrelevant (to the REAL “Humans”, the powers behind this little democracy plutocracy of ours), so we can just fuck off and die - if not all then at least most of us. The pandemic made this crystally clear, to anyone who was listening.
So yeah, if we aren’t one of THEM then we are merely peasants, and can only get by as best we can. The only thing I can add is that not all places in the USA are moving towards this end at equal rates - e.g. women in certain states cannot receive life-saving medical care if it involves the uterus in even the most tangential of ways (like an ectopic situation), but women in more liberal states still can. Not everyone can pick up and move, thus many will simply (and fully, I mean literally in every sense) die instead.
Even “success” carries with it such burdens nowadays - e.g. Professors get to initiate younger people into this hellscape of soul-crushing debt followed by the same ethical dilemma that plagued them except has only become more heightened over time?
And heaven forbid that you invent something, like a cure for a disease, either watching as it becomes restricted solely to the wealthy, or else people use it to win political games, and either harm others or like rub it on their own crotches I guess - when we all know that the only proper use is to win internet arguments on social media sites:-P.
Seriously, I am losing the faith and if someone could point me to a good resource to help restore it that would be wonderful… Though realistically thinking I do not think that things will become better in any of our lifetimes.
At which point, grouchy old man yelling at cloud.gif aside, “managing expectations” seems the only positive way to move forward, that I can think of at least:-|.
I left my ChemE PhD program “all but dissertation” because of my mental health and funding politics. I took my MS as a consolation prize and upon lots of self-reflection, I realized my favorite times in academia were when I was teaching as a TA.
So, I started looking for teaching jobs and eventually wound up adjuncting at a community college (which eventually led to a FT job). It can still be a little soul-crushing to think too hard about the state of the world today, but I get to spend most of my days talking about cool topics to people that are also interested, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
It might not help you in your position, but when I was feeling like you, I needed to find another job that let me remember what I liked about studying science in the first place. Maybe there’s something like that out there for you.
Can I just say how wonderful it is to have people like you who are able to work within the system?:-D Everyone is different - brain chemistries and upbringing and the like - and if you can handle it, you are doing a good work.
I had to leave the profession for another one entirely - I am now an engineer - b/c I just could not handle being part of the outright predatory practices within academia.:-( (people are literally walking away from fully tenured positions, not tenure-track mind you, I mean they already received that, in top-ranked universities even)
Regardless of what future career paths await someone, after getting whatever degree (PhD, MS, BS/BA, AA, or even just someone interested who is watching a YouTube video), knowledge of STEM imho can only benefit them, and society as a whole. e.g. the practice of skeptical thought (testing everything new against what you know to be true based on evidential thinking) can help someone even if they work at an entirely unrelated minimum wage job - e.g. don’t accept candy from strangers and then climb into their unmarked van no matter what amount of free drugs they promise you:-D (and then the political equivalent: vote for me and I will make everything “better”). So then whether your students stop at the community college level - or maybe they are adults taking classes for fun even - or go on to things like business degrees, you are playing an important role in advocating for scientific literacy in society at large, which is so crucial these days, hence I hope you feel proud, b/c you should be:-).
Thank you for the kind words! I do struggle with dealing with existing power structures within academia and especially the “for-profit” model that’s being encouraged in a lot of small community colleges as a means to stay solvent. Luckily, I work in California at a pretty isolated, rural CC that is pretty well insulated from financial pressures since CA state law (or maybe Ed Code) requires a community college in every county regardless of the population base.
As a result, our departments have a fair bit of leeway to make changes as we see fit (within reason), and the admin don’t fight us much on anything we can show increases student access or success (even anecdotally), which really helps me think we’re making some incremental progress. Our math, bio, physics, and chemistry departments are almost completely switched over to using open-access textbooks and other free resources, which seems to really help students that would otherwise not be able to afford to come back to school in a STEM field, and there’s a fair bit of movement away from the traditional academic pathways, and emphasis on improving mental health among students, so maybe there’s a chance that the next generation or two might be able to move the needle away from the current toxic grad-school culture. Although, academia will still likely have the same issue as political power (in the US) and capitalism; the people most likely to find themselves in a position of power are usually the most cutthroat and least suited to enacting benevolent change.
But although I love my STEM majors since they’re the ones that appreciate the finer points of the more advanced classes, your point about scientific literacy is exactly why I wind up putting far more effort into my intro-level chem courses. For a majority of my students, my Intro to Gen Chem course might be the last science course they ever take, and it’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly. It’s nice to know it’s appreciated by others in the science community
On wow sounds kinda like a dream job tbh, hold onto that as long as you can (and want to ofc:-).
Politicians can make their pretty speeches, after collecting donations for the privilege of being talked at, but it is boots on the ground people that actually get stuff done. You could make or break someone’s view of science, like oh say if someone wanted to behead Dr. Fauci, then at least hopefully they’d separate the science from the man.
A lot of conferences these days even have special sections dedicated to science literacy and teaching - it has become recognized, finally, as being a crucial underpinning of the scientific process, not just to advance science by discovery, but to communicate what is known as well. Hopefully efforts won’t be restricted solely to people taking classes either, and could be expanded to the wider world too - it somewhat is like in TV shows, except they are often so very wrong that it almost has the opposite effect of making it seem like magic performed by special wizards rather than effort that anyone at all could undertake, if they would only like crack a book:-).
You are doing a valuable service, don’t forget that! Though please also don’t forget those in your upper division classes either - it’s so easy to get bored with just a lot of detail, and while fewer in number, those more dedicated to that exact subject matter need your love and attention too! :-D That probably sounds like a criticism but I mean it as encouragement bc once someone chooses their field, they become even more receptive to the wonders that it has to offer.:-)
I think part of it is that at CC’s, teaching is literally the most important part of the job, as opposed to at 4-years, where professors are supposed to be spending the bulk of their time research and teaching a class or two on the side. As a result, at a CC, teaching is the number one qualification hiring committees look for, but universities are usually looking for who has the most potential/publications/funding as a researcher with little to no regard for their ability to teach. As a result, unis get people who care more about research and regard teaching as a distraction (IME).
And I really appreciate that you have an understanding of the plight of adjuncts and other non-tenure-track instructors. There is some movement at the CC level with several big unions actively working to advocate for adjuncts despite the fact that the adjuncts are not explicitly part of the union (generally due to explicit exclusion or an inability to afford dues), so hopefully that gets better soon!
Sorry you’re going through that. I’m not a scientist, just an internet person who thought of that Denethor quote when I read your comment.
I have been very frustrated with things though and what helped me was reading some stoic philosophy, caring a lot more about the things I can control and a lot less about what I can’t. Basically managing expectations, as you put it. Oh and also therapy. Not sure if any of that will help or not but it’s helped me after living without much hope for some time.
Hope you’re able to find the motivation you need to keep doing the important work you do, stranger. Good luck to you.
Thanks for the sympathy. I apologize if you thought I meant anything at all about you - I did get myself triggered, and in greatly shortening the text it lost clarity that I was attempting to humorously refer to the community’s motto:
A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.
Without the word “peacock” in my reply… yeah that just got totally lost didn’t it?:-P Also, this little gem of a 10-year-old video worked its way into my language as well:-P.
You - and that Denethor quote - are totally right. We cannot manage to control the entire universe, so we should just focus on what we can do. e.g., we aren’t all going to make it, I now think, therefore I help those who I can. Like literally, what more could possibly be done?
Also, I have lost hope that the short- or medium-term situation will improve, but I can still fight back by slowing the degradation.:-) Some possibly nice words to that effect: the concept of “hope”, much like “good”, does not exist in a vacuum: we need to hold out hope FOR something specific - so it helps to try to form a mental picture for what that is.
We cannot ever move back, so all that remains is to decide how best to move forward, choosing among the options that do exist.
There are many ways to fail. At this point though, I’m not sure there are any ways left to “succeed”. If I were pressed for advice I’d say for someone to do what they think they would regret the least:-|.
This is the mistake I made. I never found the thing I truly enjoy and so I ended up uneducated and working in a shitty factory… I should have just gone to school for CS (which i had absofucklutly no interest in) with my friend… Now that ship has sailed along with the WebDev stuff another friend is getting paid quite well from…
I never found the thing I enjoy, but I sure as hell worked a lot of jobs I hate.
For anyone reading this that’s still young enough, fuck your passion, chase money. Money buys stability which brings happiness fuck this money doesn’t buy happiness bullshit. Money buys your future.
Well, don’t be too hard on yourself. Life is a journey, and I can only hope that you are smarter now than when you were younger:-).
Also, things CHANGED, like A LOT since then (the pandemic accelerated a lot of it) - and what’s more, as the documentary Inequality for All (that link lets you watch the entire thing free) reveals beautifully, they had been steadily changing for almost 50 years but for various reasons people did not (want/choose to) realize that (e.g. the rise in women outright wanting to work rather than be restricted to solely be allowed to work as a homemaker happened independently, so “the economy getting harsher” did not seem the primary explanation for why people were switching to 2-person income).
The sheeple did not want to know, but also their leaders (politicians etc.) themselves chose to close their eyes to what was happening, as it happened - even as they were paid (bribed) to do. (btw I would rephrase what you said as “prioritize your career stability” - b/c while money is useful, it does not seem to me to be worth selling your soul for, like at all costs - but yeah, ensuring that your basic needs are going to be met is 100% something that people need to be told, despite how colleges are trying to sell the opposite BS just to fill their own bank accounts)
That said, I’ve seen people leave tech / office work and become literal janitors - it royally sucks when they lose their health insurance and the boss won’t even look them in the eyes as he tells them that fact - but depending on your personal circumstances, you gotta do what works for your own mental health.
The American Dream died for many people (even most younger ones?) a long time ago, and what remains is its animated corpse that occasionally moves but for reasons other than “life”. I hope you find a way to improve your own circumstances, as much as you can anyway.
While no politician is perfect, Elizabeth Warren literally wrote the book on the two income issue and I was all for it. As someone who is perpetually single I see first hand how our obsession with “family income” as a proper metric of economic health of workers is bullshit.
People like me are completely left out of the picture and are “forced” to live like college students indefinitely… Renting basements and having random psycho roommates…
She is very smart. I mean duh, literal PhD professor and all:-).
What I know about the situation is that way back in the day, having a family was something that the US government decided needed to be incentivized, hence tax breaks were offered to those who participated. While WAAAAY back in the day before that, like feudal England times, marriage - as in certificates, formalized ceremonies where people would travel to attend, divorce prohibited under the law and such - was only for royalty, whereas nobody gave a crap about peasants. The latter just said “let’s do it” and shacked up together, and that was that. That doesn’t negate the very real experiences they lived - just that the government did not get involved down to that level, b/c the peasants were basically the “property” of the landlord, so if e.g. an injustice was done, it would be up to them to right it (assuming they were not the cause of it in the first place, or too bored/scared/drunk/horny/whatever). Maybe that is all in the book - probably, or at least she surely knew the back-story as she wrote:-).
Anyway my point is that ever since radio and especially TV, politicians have gotten really good at pulling the wool over people’s eyes - and surely they did quite a job of that before then too:-P - and I don’t think the politicians even cared about family income vs. non-family income, so much as it likely seemed a great way to hide the real truth: that a massive transfer of wealth from the common man was being increasingly shifted into the hands of a few. Calling it “family” allowed them to basically double the amount someone could receive before wondering why they were not doing well off (except it’s so complex b/c they WERE doing well-off, but that was b/c the USA wasn’t bombed all to hell during the World Wars, and also technology especially medical care had improved tremendously; also, women do not earn equal to men so really it’s not “double” and more like 1.7). And then after that there are so many other tricks too - e.g. people having to work longer hours to meet the same standard, or old people having to refinance their mortgages to pay off their kids college or house loans or whatever, and all the while they had people convinced that even though they were NOT okay, that somehow it was mysteriously just them in isolation, rather than a major societal upheaval affecting us all (though not equally).
I am not very smart, and not very well educated in these matters - really - but that much at least I see. What the forces of globalization and mechanization mean, essentially, are that most humans are now irrelevant (to the REAL “Humans”, the powers behind this little
democracyplutocracy of ours), so we can just fuck off and die - if not all then at least most of us. The pandemic made this crystally clear, to anyone who was listening.So yeah, if we aren’t one of THEM then we are merely peasants, and can only get by as best we can. The only thing I can add is that not all places in the USA are moving towards this end at equal rates - e.g. women in certain states cannot receive life-saving medical care if it involves the uterus in even the most tangential of ways (like an ectopic situation), but women in more liberal states still can. Not everyone can pick up and move, thus many will simply (and fully, I mean literally in every sense) die instead.
The USA is not a first-world nation anymore.
Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it lets you buy off most sources of unhappiness.
Go now, and fail in what way seems best to you.
Even “success” carries with it such burdens nowadays - e.g. Professors get to initiate younger people into this hellscape of soul-crushing debt followed by the same ethical dilemma that plagued them except has only become more heightened over time?
And heaven forbid that you invent something, like a cure for a disease, either watching as it becomes restricted solely to the wealthy, or else people use it to win political games, and either harm others or like rub it on their own crotches I guess - when we all know that the only proper use is to win internet arguments on social media sites:-P.
Seriously, I am losing the faith and if someone could point me to a good resource to help restore it that would be wonderful… Though realistically thinking I do not think that things will become better in any of our lifetimes.
At which point, grouchy old man yelling at cloud.gif aside, “managing expectations” seems the only positive way to move forward, that I can think of at least:-|.
I left my ChemE PhD program “all but dissertation” because of my mental health and funding politics. I took my MS as a consolation prize and upon lots of self-reflection, I realized my favorite times in academia were when I was teaching as a TA.
So, I started looking for teaching jobs and eventually wound up adjuncting at a community college (which eventually led to a FT job). It can still be a little soul-crushing to think too hard about the state of the world today, but I get to spend most of my days talking about cool topics to people that are also interested, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
It might not help you in your position, but when I was feeling like you, I needed to find another job that let me remember what I liked about studying science in the first place. Maybe there’s something like that out there for you.
Can I just say how wonderful it is to have people like you who are able to work within the system?:-D Everyone is different - brain chemistries and upbringing and the like - and if you can handle it, you are doing a good work.
I had to leave the profession for another one entirely - I am now an engineer - b/c I just could not handle being part of the outright predatory practices within academia.:-( (people are literally walking away from fully tenured positions, not tenure-track mind you, I mean they already received that, in top-ranked universities even)
Regardless of what future career paths await someone, after getting whatever degree (PhD, MS, BS/BA, AA, or even just someone interested who is watching a YouTube video), knowledge of STEM imho can only benefit them, and society as a whole. e.g. the practice of skeptical thought (testing everything new against what you know to be true based on evidential thinking) can help someone even if they work at an entirely unrelated minimum wage job - e.g. don’t accept candy from strangers and then climb into their unmarked van no matter what amount of free drugs they promise you:-D (and then the political equivalent: vote for me and I will make everything “better”). So then whether your students stop at the community college level - or maybe they are adults taking classes for fun even - or go on to things like business degrees, you are playing an important role in advocating for scientific literacy in society at large, which is so crucial these days, hence I hope you feel proud, b/c you should be:-).
Thank you for the kind words! I do struggle with dealing with existing power structures within academia and especially the “for-profit” model that’s being encouraged in a lot of small community colleges as a means to stay solvent. Luckily, I work in California at a pretty isolated, rural CC that is pretty well insulated from financial pressures since CA state law (or maybe Ed Code) requires a community college in every county regardless of the population base.
As a result, our departments have a fair bit of leeway to make changes as we see fit (within reason), and the admin don’t fight us much on anything we can show increases student access or success (even anecdotally), which really helps me think we’re making some incremental progress. Our math, bio, physics, and chemistry departments are almost completely switched over to using open-access textbooks and other free resources, which seems to really help students that would otherwise not be able to afford to come back to school in a STEM field, and there’s a fair bit of movement away from the traditional academic pathways, and emphasis on improving mental health among students, so maybe there’s a chance that the next generation or two might be able to move the needle away from the current toxic grad-school culture. Although, academia will still likely have the same issue as political power (in the US) and capitalism; the people most likely to find themselves in a position of power are usually the most cutthroat and least suited to enacting benevolent change.
But although I love my STEM majors since they’re the ones that appreciate the finer points of the more advanced classes, your point about scientific literacy is exactly why I wind up putting far more effort into my intro-level chem courses. For a majority of my students, my Intro to Gen Chem course might be the last science course they ever take, and it’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly. It’s nice to know it’s appreciated by others in the science community
On wow sounds kinda like a dream job tbh, hold onto that as long as you can (and want to ofc:-).
Politicians can make their pretty speeches, after collecting donations for the privilege of being talked at, but it is boots on the ground people that actually get stuff done. You could make or break someone’s view of science, like oh say if someone wanted to behead Dr. Fauci, then at least hopefully they’d separate the science from the man.
A lot of conferences these days even have special sections dedicated to science literacy and teaching - it has become recognized, finally, as being a crucial underpinning of the scientific process, not just to advance science by discovery, but to communicate what is known as well. Hopefully efforts won’t be restricted solely to people taking classes either, and could be expanded to the wider world too - it somewhat is like in TV shows, except they are often so very wrong that it almost has the opposite effect of making it seem like magic performed by special wizards rather than effort that anyone at all could undertake, if they would only like crack a book:-).
You are doing a valuable service, don’t forget that! Though please also don’t forget those in your upper division classes either - it’s so easy to get bored with just a lot of detail, and while fewer in number, those more dedicated to that exact subject matter need your love and attention too! :-D That probably sounds like a criticism but I mean it as encouragement bc once someone chooses their field, they become even more receptive to the wonders that it has to offer.:-)
deleted by creator
I think part of it is that at CC’s, teaching is literally the most important part of the job, as opposed to at 4-years, where professors are supposed to be spending the bulk of their time research and teaching a class or two on the side. As a result, at a CC, teaching is the number one qualification hiring committees look for, but universities are usually looking for who has the most potential/publications/funding as a researcher with little to no regard for their ability to teach. As a result, unis get people who care more about research and regard teaching as a distraction (IME).
And I really appreciate that you have an understanding of the plight of adjuncts and other non-tenure-track instructors. There is some movement at the CC level with several big unions actively working to advocate for adjuncts despite the fact that the adjuncts are not explicitly part of the union (generally due to explicit exclusion or an inability to afford dues), so hopefully that gets better soon!
Sorry you’re going through that. I’m not a scientist, just an internet person who thought of that Denethor quote when I read your comment.
I have been very frustrated with things though and what helped me was reading some stoic philosophy, caring a lot more about the things I can control and a lot less about what I can’t. Basically managing expectations, as you put it. Oh and also therapy. Not sure if any of that will help or not but it’s helped me after living without much hope for some time.
Hope you’re able to find the motivation you need to keep doing the important work you do, stranger. Good luck to you.
Thanks for the sympathy. I apologize if you thought I meant anything at all about you - I did get myself triggered, and in greatly shortening the text it lost clarity that I was attempting to humorously refer to the community’s motto:
Without the word “peacock” in my reply… yeah that just got totally lost didn’t it?:-P Also, this little gem of a 10-year-old video worked its way into my language as well:-P.
You - and that Denethor quote - are totally right. We cannot manage to control the entire universe, so we should just focus on what we can do. e.g., we aren’t all going to make it, I now think, therefore I help those who I can. Like literally, what more could possibly be done?
Also, I have lost hope that the short- or medium-term situation will improve, but I can still fight back by slowing the degradation.:-) Some possibly nice words to that effect: the concept of “hope”, much like “good”, does not exist in a vacuum: we need to hold out hope FOR something specific - so it helps to try to form a mental picture for what that is.
We cannot ever move back, so all that remains is to decide how best to move forward, choosing among the options that do exist.