(Picture to get some good vibes going)
Lately I’m not quite enjoyable for those around me.
I got quite a bit on my plate and I have trouble winding down. Not gonna bother with the details but let’s say life isn’t always as smooth sailing. To the point where I’m quite grumpy at the slightest inconvenience.
I’m trying to narrow it down to:
-I’m always “on”. Call me late to the party but the last years with everything coming to light about how this world is truly run. I can’t fully enjoy and let go anymore. Not while knowing there’s genocide going on at the hands of a few billionaire scumbags. (Stop following the news? I don’t know if I can)
-too much to do: I have quite a list of stuff to do that just doesn’t seem to let off. Today I did some long overdue cleaning in the hobbyspace and still it only made a dent.
-and finally: meds. I’m currently only taking half my adhd meds, and I don’t take them on off days (to cut costs and to go easy on my heart). Is that maybe a thing? Inconsistency?
I used to kinda live past my adhd blindspots, but nowadays they’re very upfront and it’s confronting. (“I was suposed to do X and forgot to do Y, and that stings”).
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irritability is common when coming off the meds. Depending on the meds, and on doctors approval, if taking a stimulant you skip one day a week so you dont built up resistance. The day i choose is when i not normally around people or at least forced to deal with them and i just focus on enjoyable things to get me through it.
Edit: stop watching “all” news. Its only negative to a positive life you want. I selectively only subscribe to tech news so i still learn new stuff happening but only stuff I enjoy.
Accept the fact you will always have many unfinished projects, which is ok to have, and when you finish a task or full project always celebrate to help teach your brain that it will be rewarded for completing things.
irritability is common when coming off the meds.
This 100%. And not just irritability, but the whole mood system gets out of wack to varying degrees.
Being inconsistent with the meds for any reason, can and will leave someone confused as to why the heck their mental state is all over the place.
Also second the rest for sure, and highly advise OP to skip the news firehose during medication rest days particularly.
Not ADHD, but I’m mental health adjacent. So I’ll give you a boost instead of clinical advice.
I too have fucked around with meds and other substances and always regret it. Typically I hurt someone I love and regret gets me to rebound.
If you feel stable and good on the right dose, you need to keep to it. That’s sounds impossible when you’re unmedicated or wabbling through difficulties. But you have to fixate on the past you and pull yourself back into a routine, baby steps.
Irritability is your brain struggling with a chemical change or just beating yourself up and projecting self hate outward. It won’t last, you can get there.
One unifying thing with mental health suffers is we all get a backseat to physical alignments. The only way we can do any of this is supporting each other.
NAMI is a great nonprofit and resource.
https://www.nami.org/living-with-a-mental-health-condition/getting-help-paying-for-medications/
I’m just here to say there is trash Kant.
Thank you.
As long as we stay Jung at heart.
Inconsistency of meds is definitely an issue with me. I used to do that, especially with the unending national shortage in the US, and insurance requirement to use a single pharmacy so I can’t shop around for stock making it hard to get it consistently.
But I changed tactics. I got a scale that can measure milligrams (not that accurately, but well enough) and got a weekly pill case to help me remember or at least know when I skipped. I take 3/4 doses consistently rather than taking full doses and then rationing and eventually cutting off between prescriptions. I also had some surgery and was off for a couple of months, so I stopped taking it then. I got absolutely nothing done like I wanted to during that time, but it gave me a small stockpile to help with this plan to stay consistent. I wish I could take a full dose and be as productive and lower anxiety as I am at that proper dosage.
I probably could find an unethical psychiatrist who didn’t care and would prescribe me higher doses so I could cut them and still have enough daily. But my intense Autism-driven ethical values hasn’t let me do that yet. Plus it’s really hard to find psychiatrists with openings that take insurance these days, so the ADHD keeps me from looking. LOL
I also get the desire to protect the cardiovascular system. I’m getting to that age where it’s becoming even more of a concern. But, and this is just for me of course, I think if my choice is a few years less life but also with less anxiety, that’s worth it. Maybe some day a better treatment will be available. Like Adderall is slightly better and slightly less harmful than Ritalin. But I think that won’t be in my lifetime with the way drug companies work now. They only make long term treatment drugs and only for life threatening things so people will pay exorbitant amounts until they die. They don’t research things that people can live with or try to cure anything anymore. Not that ADHD needs a cure, just a crutch to survive in culture that’s hostile to neurodivergence, but that’s also not a priority as it’s not emergent enough for people to spend their life savings on, and not wide spread enough, like obesity, for enough people not spending their life savings on to make a profit.
