I like the idea of a ham radio, but too voice shy to actually talk lol, so I don’t bother with it.

I mean its kinda terrifying when you think about it from the perspective of someone who grew up in an abusive household

“You will never leave my control”

Either you get tossed to the curb by mom and you are cold and alone after being so used to the warmth and the plant is dead (flung out of orbit), or get murdered by her (red giant… engulf the system)

Magnetic Stripe is still used in the US as a backup because some places still don’t have the chip nor rfid thing in their transation terminals.

Oh fuck… now thinking of the money thing… my mom definitely has the money to sue the fuck out of me, and then I’d definitely get disinherited then my brother is gonna be their heir and he’d also have the funds to sue me… so I’d be fucked…

hmm maybe I’ll wait till parents are dead first lol, then I’m pissing on their grave

where I live we can’t even mention the name and crimes of convicted pedos on social media

That’s lame as fuck

Skynet can take out their creators, I’m just following their lead

Sorry mom, nothing personal

/j

I mean you can test it and see…

You can be right

and you can be dead right

That’s what authoritarianism is

You don’t need a samsung account lol. You probably missed the small text that allows you to skip it.

I think I had trouble breathing after getting covid…

maybe its a placebo/nocebo, maybe I have long covid / lung damage…

idk

I boosted my percentage of the run complete… (100% is the life span, and covid sped through it…)

Speaking of abusive sibling:

Yo I’m so lucky I’m cis male.

If I was female, I’m pretty sure that my older brother would’ve SA’ed me.

Like dude literally used zip ties to tie me up because I was “being annoying” to him…

like he’s 5 years older than me, so much power over me, like during that incident, I was probably like 6, he was 11…

so traumatized being unable to move for several hours until my parents came home

dude has zero boundaries

When I got US Citizenship, my mom joked about that I should “marry my cousin¹ in China so she could get a green card” (this was like 2016)

¹she meant like her sister’s daughter

I was like:

1. WTF mom, that’s disgusting, pretty sure marrying a cousin is a crime. (well it is in the us)

2. Also, it’s marriage immigration fraud.

wtf is that “joke” lmfao, does she want me ending up in prison or something?

I don’t think I have autism, I can talk to my peers just fine, I just have separation anxiety because… idk I just never had to chance to be out in the world alone, like truely alone without a parent nearby.

OCD… probably… germophobia probably caused by my highschool looking very unsanitary and just Covid that sort of “flipped a switch” in my brain, constantly aware of all the “contaminations” around me.

Talking to Magats does not mean pivoting towards the right. Its about having a real conversation about the issues, face to face.

Example: Bernie visits deep trump country, manages to convince some trumpers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP8Oxe6OxJc

Conversations IRL, sure. But online space isn’t for that. One could easily make 1000 bot accounts “just asking questions” and create the false impression to bystanders that “both sides are the same”. That rherotic needs to be shutdown quickly or it becomes a nazi bar.

IRL, its where you can have genuine conversations because there’s that human connection of being face to face. Bernie did that, he went to a maga stronghold and managed to convert some magats. They said that “he seemed like a nice guy” and “different how TV portrays him”, so I think online space is gonna have that same disconnect, because of the lack of face to face connection.

I’m supposed to be, but I had to withdraw due to depression…

I mean… I literally got so much separation anxiety when I tried to stay at a college owned apartment, literally had trouble sleeping…

I mean is it even surprising I have depression? like… never feeling safe outside and also never feeling safe at home either… yea depression is just a deterministic outcome at this point

Oh btw my older brother never opted for the university housing… he just went to the satelite campuses close by instead of the main campus, to stay at home throught the entire 4 years… like just commutes to college… its a 30 - 45 min drive away… (I mean I also chose the satallite campus, but I tried to live away from home)

I don’t think he wants to admit it, but I think he’s also afraid of leaving home…

Literally never seen him go outside or anything besides work… so he’s just like me… but he’s acts, IMO, even weirder than me

So… it’s not just me… my mom has raised kids that are trauma bonded to her and don’t know how to be independent…

Great job, mom 🫠

This could work out in your favor actually. Taking driving lessons

You mean driving lessons with dad lol

Driving school would “be a waste of money” my mom would say

And I don’t really have financial independence yet… so… whatever… their rules…

I need the learners permit thing… I’m gonna wanna get that soon.

could you go out with friends?

No friends 😭

That’s what I get for having a stunted social development because of mom that held on to me too tightly and never allowed me a chance to grow.

(I’m introverted, and like… does anyone even talk to each other anymore after highschool is finished?)

This is such a foreign question for me.

Yea I know, which is why I’m kinda embarassed to ask it on a western forum.

My parents kinda just never really put much effort into encouraging me to be independent.

play outside as soon as possible (age 3 or 4? Idk, long time ago)

Kids in my parents’ village might do that.

I think during 0-8 years old I was mostly living in a city, except like sometimes visiting parents’ villages and I never felt comfortable exploring much anyways, I don’t know the kids and I’d be back in the city for when school starts. Like city-city, not suburb. I was in Guangzhou, China. Like Apartment buildings. I remember my mom warned me a lot about kidnappers (apparantly it happens often in China according to my mom) so I don’t remember going outside often and never unaccopanied. Parents were like busy and worked from early morning till late at night. I mean they even have this weird child-proof lock thing that locked from the outside… like you turn a key all the way in a direction and it locks and prevents the inside from opening it. Cuz if nobody was home, my parents didn’t want us to like… run off or something…

Well I wasn’t like alone-alone, I just get stuck at home with my older brother… who just wanna like fight with me all the time…

Pretty sure this childproof lock thing is a firehazard… 👀

Oddly enough, I remember I’d walk home alone during school lunch time… like I’d walk home, eat lunch at home, then walk back to school (cuz there was no free school lunch), I was like 6-7 I think, and it was like in broad daylight so I guess my grandmother just didn’t feel like picking me up. But I think my grandmother was supposed to take me to school and pick me up most of the time.

That was the extent of my independence. I wasn’t allowed to like play outside… cuz of the supposedly kidnappers that roam the streets (I looked up a few videos now as an adult, kinda terrifying ngl).

When we arrived in the US… similar… but its more because of being in a foreign country so I personally also felt scared. My mom just put me in an afterschool program so I’d be in school till 6 PM then stay at home till next day. Weekends I’m not supposed to go outside unless there’s a parent with me. I always need a parents to go outside… I mean I guess mom both didn’t want me to be in danger and also was afraid leaving us outside unaccompanied would trip up CPS or something… and you definitely don’t want them involved when you’re new in the country.

So yea… I never got to be by myself

So I eventually learned English, and this place became “less foreign” to me. And I also got older…

but still… I think I just got so used to never being by myself from birth till like… 13 years old(I think?), that I never really tried to go outside much, even when I was eventually allowed to walk home by myself when I was 6th grade…

I did like go to the library a few times to use their computer to play some web browser unity fps games… but then stopped doing that when I had a computer at home.

My parents never really pushed me to go outside… and I think I just got so used to the “stranger danger”…

so… yeah…

I guess the takeaway from this post is… I realized how much my parents and the circumstances of my life kinda stunted my mental development?

Edit: Btw, my older brother who’s 5 years older than me still lives at home… so yea… I don’t see him going outside much except for like work… and he has zero social life…

So yea… thanks a lot, mom… 👀

Not sure about the origins of the winnie the pooh thing, but .ml thinks everything anti-CCP is racist.

Like literally, they don’t even want the diaspora criticizing the regime. Lmfao their false accusations of racism doesn’t work on me.

P.S. One other thought: could you go walking with someone else besides your parents?

Don’t have friends :/

I have a library nearby, but honestly I only went there when I was a teen and my laptop stopped working.

I don’t really like to go there just to read a book, too awkward for me, I prefer just downloading a .epub from online.

Its like… its all just older people that goes there. I never seen like someone my age, especially now that young people all have their own computers and they don’t need to use the library computers anymore… it feels so out of place being there, its all just older people there. Cause too much anxiety for me.

There is a park near me that I like to go to, but it’s driving distance away not easily walkable to (takes like an hour or something, I aint gonna walk 2 hours to and from there, public transit doesn’t go there,), my dad just drives me there all the time so I never actually went there alone.

Also like, I’m actually kinda scared of public transit. I also never really been on public transit alone, I’ve always been with at least one of my parents.

Omg I realized my messed up my life actually is. I hear that kids go party during teenage years… but I ended up being just so anxious and never like learn how to be independent.

There are like shopping malls within 20 minutes walking distance, but I don’t wanna like just walk around if I’m not buying anything… feels too weird.

I feel like I really need a driver’s license so I can just like… feel more in control. (I could like borrow parents car for now)