Piss off

When pets go they take a part of us with them, but they’re worth it all the same. In the end, all you can do is give them the best life you can and appreciate all the love they give.

Hug your pets everybody.

I mean, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and espouses all the same racist ideologies as a duck, it might as well be a duck no matter what it calls itself.

Floof* auto correct is a scourge.

Hey, she’s royalty. Royalty of hell, but that’s just semantics.

She’s pretty aloof most of the time, but when I’m in my computer chair she will come sit on my lap and make biscuits or just drape over my arm.

Oh yeah, her hair gets everywhere.

She’s more of a really dark brown/black than pure black. She’s our little soot sprite.

I tried the swedish fish Oreo once and can accurately say they are an offense to God and man.

He’s the head of the itty bitty shitty kitty committee.

If you hit someone with a hammer, it’s assault and you go to jail. If you drop a hammer on someone accidentally, it was an accident and nothing happens to you. See how dumb that sounds?

Nah man, that’s not the purpose of unrestrained capitalism. The point is to get big enough that you can buy out all the competition, then make your product cheaper and cheaper once there’s no one to compete against. It’s a bit like an economical algae bloom.

She will sprint outside while screaming from time to time. Usually I let her run around for a little while and then scoop her up.

This is our Bitty Kitty!

Edit: it won’t let me post the picture.

A fish who is a sadist in his sexual relations with other fish obviously.

LinkedIn is one of the least sane social media sites I’ve ever had the displeasure of using. Under all the marketing BS and obviously fake feel good stories lie takes that would make your insane Facebook uncle blush.

“If God had wanted you to regulate your glucose levels he wouldn’t have given you type 1 diabetes. Now give me your goddam insulin!”

“Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.”

-Francis M. Wilhoit

Same

Ah shit, you got me. That front stone wheel alone probably weighs as much as a modern sedan.