Hey dude. That whole experience with the psychiatrist sounds wrong. Of course you have history. And that in no way qualifies or disqualifies you from getting a diagnosis. In saying that, I agree with db0 in that a diagnosis won’t necessarily help. You can absolutely look up strategies and routines, tips ect on how to improve your experiences and try applying the ones you like and see how it goes. Psychiatrists might diagnose you and then want to put you on medication because that is their job and how they get paid. The cognitive behavior change work is usually done with a psychologist, in groups and in your own time. There’s some great worksheets available online if you look around.
My husband said pretty much the same thing. We can only buy a house with VA assistance as well and it is so expensive here around his home town. Hopefully we can move interstate in the future. Around where he was stationed we could get a big old family house in a nice area for $100k less. For however long that lasts.