I think human interaction change with times that tell us what we need to have to be good as friend. I am also running from people but not because I can’t deal with conflict but because shame. I spend many time to understand and shame is mine final answer. I am ashamed of my dirty apartment in my father garage, I am ashamed of not having a degree, a job, the will of even find an occupation. Then I ashamed of my body, fat and full of scars of heavy loss of height. Simple I am just a monster, that lives only because parents keep alive. What kind of friend can be possible be? That’s there reason to escape. This why not everyone can have interactions.
I’m glad to finally read someone that’s say something real. Its all about lying, yes I educate myself and I even try to fake a fair enough resumee. I realize this is the only way to hope for something. I don’t have special abilities, not good at math, coding boring me. I try a lot of thing in this life, I am in a training program now, but things move slowly, I’m 35, I should have a wife by now, an happy place called home, but looks so far away, looks even that I lost the train to having that life. Feeling already old even if I do nothing, life ask things I dont have. Stupid things like a car, I don’t want it, I don’t like it, but people want me to have it. This example apply to everything. In order to have something I wish for I need to want something I don’t like, that’s so stupid and I feel bad.