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Cake day: August 19th, 2025

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  • birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoFuck Cars@lemmy.worldanon discusses car dependence
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    5 days ago

    Then I hope Whitmire gets ran over by a car. Hope he plucks the sour fruits of his own policies.

    Reading more on him and he sounds like an ass. No AC for inmates in hot summers… then he’s a criminal himself for making people die. Maybe he should undergo a lack of AC himself.

    He also seems awfully willing to lock people up, instead of actually making the situation better by ending his own life.











  • Just hopping in to say, first of all:

    as a queer person, i’m genuinely super proud of you for realising this, and improving. you’re awesome 💕

    the way i see it, you don’t need to embrace or approve of what others do - but letting them and treating them like ‘vanilla cishet’* people would get treated (ie. with respect), goes a long way. When you’re in a sauna and there are gay people, ask yourself: would I comment on a straight couple being together?

    everyone has their own preferences. it’s normal to have the things you like and dislike; though it’s not normal to mistreat others for it. in that sense, your ick for lesbian stuff (but liking other stuff) is fine, to the extent that you don’t harm or hate on others for having their preferences. so imho, that part isn’t homophobic.


    whether or not you were a homo-/transphobe is not for me to decide. i think the bullying counts, though; but no need to beat yourself up over what happened; the past is the past, you’re working on a great future.

    Apologising in earnest to the victim, if they’re open to it, can help. he doesn’t need to accept it (nor do you), but to you both, it’d be a weight off your shoulders. Closure helps a lot in dealing with that shit.


    I don’t think one needs to overworry or overthink it – it’s valid to be concerned; but at the end of day, we’re all people, and you’re welcome too.

    * only saying this because in my view, the ‘vanilla cishet’ person doesn’t exist, just as the full-of-fetishes/kinks queer person doesn’t exist. It’s a spectrum which is best seen as, “Who cares, but support for anything that’s mutual between consenting people of mature age, and support for whatever makes their life easier”.


  • Personally I never really had the “2 same gender ppl together weird” thingy, but ironically now that I’ve come out, I notice it more in my mind that I have those feels. And that annoys me as I want to not have that feel. So I try to ‘CBT’ myself by subtly smiling at those couples too, trying to make sure they feel safe and at ease too.

    I think it comes from a perception of envy, that I’m projecting it onto others: why them but not me? I try to combat it too by realising that it’s not ‘not me’; I need to go out and look for it, to have it too.

    It’s a whole journey of self exploration and realisation. If there’s any good place to ask, it’s on Lemmy, and since it’s in good faith (realising that homo- and transphobia is in fact, indeed bad), it’s especially a good way to learn how to deal with your feels. Best to have a qualified psychologist you personally know and trust, though. One that doesn’t dismiss your concerns, but listens and understands, guides to help yourself improve.