I could never be a wizard. Mess up code, get some error messages. Mess up a spell, get turned into a pile of goo, slaughtered by a demon, or transported to a hell dimension.

This was on a paper letter. They actually bothered to print no_reply@verizon.com on their paper letter, as a final “fuck you.”

Is good omen, everyone gonna get laid.

The fake information reminds me of the last time I went to the grocery store. The cashier said to the woman in front of me something like “Thank you Mrs. Smith” so I assumed she was a regular and the cashier knew her. When I checked out I fished out my rewards card and the cashier scanned it and said “Thank you Mr. Richards, have a nice day.” I almost said “Thanks but who is Richards?” But then I remembered I am Richards, that is the fake name I filled out years ago but no one has ever used it (and are they supposed to?)