*SovCit hurt itself in its confusion!”

I feel slightly better knowing that the Chinese suffer from Chinesium-based products as much as we do.

Are Xbox players paste-eaters or something?

🎶your own….racoon…Jesus 🎶

Conversation in a future space Starbucks: Me: “I’d like a triple grande, soy, no foam latte in a to-go vulva.” Barista: “Yes sir…”

Conversation in my local Starbucks tomorrow: Me: “I’d like a triple grande, soy, no foam latte in a to-go vulva.” Barista: “Sir, I have a taser and pepper spray, if you leave now, I won’t call the cops.”

HarmonyOS version “Tianamen 4 June 1989” is more efficient at reporting back to glorious communist overlords, quickly silencing anti-party sentiment and discovering more ingenious ways of denying human right violations and genocide. Must download today!

Epic reveal: Cat’s name is Snorlax

Just the chug-chug sound is enough to wake me from the deepest sleep.