an any

I knew my any key would be useful one day.

I wish I did that, at this point my TypeScript template errors are as long as C++'s ._.

Nah this isn’t the way, friend. Instead of adding a bunch of useless anys all over the place, start typing in one part of the application and exclude the rest using a path pattern. Or simply allow .js and only change the extension for files you’ve typed. Doing this is just wasting time and creating false assurances of type safety.
It’s not that hard to define correct, meaningful types. Often vscode already has implicitly determined them for you; just mouseover the variable.