as said previously I’m a nurse, which means the overwhelming majority of employees are women. Gossiping, being unauthentic, cattiness and passive aggressiveness is a daily occurrence.

My current unit: there are 2 men that seem to be completely stoic (I don’t know what word would describe them better): they ignore drama and jabs, even if directed at them, they are punctual with their pauses, I mean really, 30 minutes and that’s it, and can ignore when other coworkers lazy around, even if it means they have to be the ones doing most of the work, extra work they don’t receive any extra money or recognition for.

I am writing in awe, because as much as I’d like to be this thick skinned, I am not. The feeling of being treated unfairly rubs me the wrong way really fast. My strategy so far has been to lazy around so much as my direct coworkers, even if they’re part of an established group at the ward I don’t belong to. They’re the ones supposed to be showing me around and teach me. If they don’t work, why should I?

I believe this is a trait of mine, something nearly impossible to change, it would make more sense to change the setting than trying to change me, to change jobs. I don’t know how to play this game where I am, in a workplace where most employees are women.

But my question remains to all of you who are this thick skinned: how? I don’t understand it. Don’t you find it tiring? Doesn’t it make you feel like shit when you go back home? Don’t you feel taken advantage of?

  • ileftreddit@piefed.socialEnglish
    105·
    10 days ago

    Not to sound sexist but it sounds like the men are just there to work while the women need an extra layer of bullshit

    • notarobot@lemmy.zip
      132·
      10 days ago

      That IS sexist. You can’t just pretend that is not

      There are many possible reasons for this. Maybe the bosses are sexist and they hire men based on skill and women based on looks.

      Maybe all the men that were affected by all this have left and only the thick skinned ones are still there.

      You have no valid reasons to assume women are just worse. But that is what you did

      • ileftreddit@piefed.socialEnglish
        6·
        10 days ago

        Ok, sure. But it’s literally the situation OP described.

        “overwhelming majority of employees are women. Gossiping, being unauthentic, cattiness and passive aggressiveness is a daily occurrence.”

        But the ONLY 2 men there just go there to do work, shut up and do work

        • notarobot@lemmy.zip
          64·
          10 days ago

          I’m taking what op said as a fact because they are telling the story. It would be stupid to argue with them since I wasn’t there.

          Yours was an opinion and you opinion came out as “women are useless” basically. Either that, or you just kind of quoted what op said, in which case you added nothing to the conversation

          Edit: I said “you opinion was”. Changed to " your opinion came out as"

          • ileftreddit@piefed.socialEnglish
            51·
            10 days ago

            I never meant to imply women are useless- sorry if that’s how it came across. I have a wife and daughter, I love and respect women. But I have noticed that workplaces that are mostly women USUALLY have very high degrees of interpersonal drama

            • RBWells@lemmy.world
              1·
              5 days ago

              FWIW I didn’t read it that way. OP describes a particular workplace not a universal situation. Maybe where he is, the women at his work are useless. That doesn’t make it a sweeping generalization, just the situation where he is. I had a boss who wouldn’t hire men because his experience was that women actually got the work done, men did not. And I had a boss who only hired men (I was there before he was hired) and when I asked him WTF he said he wanted people who weren’t afraid of him, that me & the other lady there weren’t but most women would not speak up. Those are sexist - they held universal views and even worse, based their hiring on it.