I told my mother that I thought Jesus sounded like a fairy tale when I was eight years old. Told her it just didn’t sound believable. She’s was quite upset. I’m proud of little me.

When I was in Kindergarten, the call of the void got the better of me and I scrawled “I HAT GOD” on the foggy school bus window to see what would happen. I still remember the electric thrill of doing the forbidden. Nothing happened to me, but maybe God is just saving it for when he casts me into eternal flames?

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