No. No. No. Don’t just buy a raw one if you don’t know what to do with it. Find a place that has prepared it in something. I recommend durian ice cream. The waitress warned me that it tasted like gas. I asked her if she meant the fuel or farts and she just repeated “gassy”. It smelled sweet like unburned gasoline at a classic car show and earthy like a belt loosening fart. And yet somehow it doesn’t actually taste bad. It’s mostly just unsettling that it tastes as good as it does. I’m not sure I’d order it again, except on a dare or to horrify any companions that haven’t experienced it yet. It’s like spicy food, sometimes you’ve got to power through the initial stink/spice to really get to the hidden flavors.
Some people get a lot out of sitting very still and clearing their minds completely. Some people get more clarity in motion, while running, rowing, cycling, or walking. There is another way on meditation that involves almost the opposite of a clear mind, where you focus on experiencing and really noticing absolutely everything around you; every breath, birdsong, machine noise, footstep, squirrel chittering, and insect buzzing. Sometimes while focusing on a puzzle or game like Tetris, Sodoku, or a Rubik’s cube, it feels meditative to me. I don’t know if that’s real meditation. But my point is that everyone’s built differently, find what works for you and stop worrying about failing. If you’re trying, you’re not failing.